this is why the church is such a mess right now. Sin and people see the leaders doing it and think its ok to do it too.
| Should we expose Christian leaders who sin and hurt people in their personal life or ministry? |
| Written by Jill B |
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I have a few thoughts on this one, as its quite a complex topic. Quite often if someone had complained early on about church leaders sinning using or hurting people, then whole ministries would not have collapsed. When a leader of a Christian ministry sins it's a huge problem and he should really stand down, till he gets his affairs together and can fix his life, before he brings the ministry down with him. Backsliding is not the end of the world the prodigal son was accepted back into the Lord's fold but if you are in a position of Christian leadership and living in a backslidden state that is not going to be accepted by anyone. I would recommend if a ministry leader has sinned a cool down period of a year. In that time they should not be given any access to the ministry and should stay away, but leaders should maintain contact with them and fellowship together in order to support their return when its appropriate.
They should not just be put back into ministry straight away, as its obvious they have proven they cant handle the pressure of it and haven't got the grace to do it. Public Disclosure Should a leaders sin be disclosed publicly? That is quite a difficult question to answer, it is easy when someone has done something wrong to you to tell everyone as you are hurt, its only a very strong person that can contain when someone else has abused them or infringed on their rights and caused them severe pain and distress through their sins. The effects of some sins cannot be hidden like pregnancy, so eventually these things will come out. There are usually witnesses to events however and there is usually evidence. So some things even if people try to hide it will eventually come out in the open. Let's consider Noah, in public he lay drunk and naked, his son covered him. It was a monumental moment when his son, covered his shamed father from public humiliation. However this does not mean we must ignore sin, pretend it hasn't happened or that leaders who are sinning should continue to lead even when we love them. Really Sad Part The really sad part is that people who lead double lives and who lie and act with hypocrisy have no place or right leading a ministry in anything, no matter how many years they have studied or worked in that ministry or even if they have attended university and invested a whole lot of money. It's a tragedy not just to the church but also to themselves. The church needs dedicated leaders and talented individuals but if you are living a double life and committing sin and hurting people you are not fit to lead others as you are living in a way that is contrary to the beliefs and values being taught. How can you as a teacher/pastor/evangelist, be preaching and sinning in your double life, as a hypocritical liar convince anyone to repent when your life is steeped in sin. If you haven't got the grace to be single, it's simple get married, if you haven't got the grace to hang around women and you get tempted and cheat, don't go into a position where you will be alone with women allow your wife to minister to the ladies and you deal with the men's issues. If you haven't got the grace to not steal money or spend it lavishly from the ministry put someone else in charge of the money make them responsible for paying out your salary or expenses, make the board of trustees be partly from another church and let them vote on your remuneration. If you are in a position of ministry you have to deal with your demons, chastise your sins and purge them from your body and deal with your flesh otherwise you look like a hypocrite and liar and do the body of Christ (Yeshua) more harm than good no matter how eloquently you speak or how articulate you are or how much theology you study or how much preaching/teaching you do. The bible is not just a novel for reading, you actually have to live it. Personally throughout the years I haven't accepted a position of ministry yet or tried to create a ministry with others, even though I have been offered a few times, as I have not felt it was the right time for me to accept this responsibility as it is not yet the right time for me in my spiritual walk. There were lessons I had to learn first, things I had to accept and things I had to do. I am not rushing as I know it is a huge responsibility and I have to be strong and be very faithful and living a very pure life. Not saying I am running away or avoiding it, I will eventually but I am aware how much more we are accountable when we are leaders and how much more our spiritual lives must be correct and in order. It is a very serious thing and not something to be taken lightly. Has anyone ever told you, you are not ready for ministry and you have acted anyway. I have been asked several times, people even offered to pay for my BA in theology and raise me upin a particular area I totally refused, I could feel within my walk I was not in the right place to do it and upon reflection and events after this, I was definitely listening to God as it wasn't the right time for me to do this and I felt it. Leaders also have be honest with themselves it may be they are not really listening to God anymore but are chartering their own course. Their own ambition has taken over and now its about what they are doing as a 'mighty man of God' its a kind of status in society, given a certain respect. Its not about serving or loving God anymore or maybe never was. We have to be very honest with ourselves about all these things as it is crucial we do this. Ostriches Hiding Our Heads in the Sand Whilst we may feel these leaders are wrong, some of us even backslide as we see what is going on and it disillusions us somehow, we are also wrong if we do not stand up and at least expose them to those they are accountable to, as we are enabling them to carry on treating people like that and thinking it is ok. It's the nightmare people cult that dictatorships are made from. We also have to take responsibility, people sometimes mistreat us as we give them a trusted position for whatever reason, when they abuse this we can say ok I forgive you for what you have done to me, but you still should not be in or leading ministry.
Correct Approach
First and Foremost We are told to approach the individual in person and discuss it with them. ( Matthew 18:15-17) This is the first thing to do as a friend and someone who cares about the person in question. It is difficult sometimes to speak to people about their personal sins, especially to people who are in positions of authority as often they resent you raising this issue with them. They do not like to acknowledge there may be a problem as they are used to being in the spotlight and do not wish to expose themselves unnecessarily. So quite often it can be quite confrontational. Sometimes they may try to deflect the blame somewhere else or they try to escape responsibility by blaming it on others.
Next Step Go to them with a witness, if they are still not listening to you and they are still not repentant, then you have to go back again but this time with a witness.
Establish Whether the Person is a Real Believer Sometimes its is difficult to tell if someone is really a Christian and a real believer people use Christianity for a variety of reasons
Evidence they are a Christian It is sad but true not every pastor or leader in ministry is a real bible believer practising Christian. Whilst we don't want to believe or accept this, as it's an awful thought but it is a possibility you may have to consider. Look for signs, do they discuss their conversion experience, do they acknowledge God as their personal saviour, do they believe in the commandments and live by them, were they baptised, are they supporters of Christian living and actually living the lifestyle the bible promotes. Are they hypocrites, like do they believe in sleeping with multiple partners, divorce, do they justify everything according to some reason or another, e.g. oh that might be ok in such and such a situation when the bible says it is clearly wrong. Some people are not really Christians, they went to church as children, they got baptised at some point even usually due to their parents insistence. Ask them if they are a Christian if they respond by saying well I went to church when I was growing up, in all likelihood they do not have a one on one relationship with God or know him properly. They have not accepted him into their lives and into their hearts to start the conversion work. As a result their heart will be hard and you will be unable to reason with them as their values will not be scriptural or in accordance with God's word.
Fruits of the Spirit Galatians 5:22 Love (long suffering, kind, not rude, humility, hopes, endures) joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. These manifest over time so may not be fully developed within someone early on in their walk, however as promised by God he has started a good work within us and will be faithful to complete it. Usually you will be able to tell however is this person humble, faithful to God's word, honest, straightforward and open to correction?
Request that they stand down from Ministry If someone is behaving in a way that is totally contradictory to scripture then its best you ask they step down from ministry for a while and report them to the elders. If they continue to behave in a manner which is sinful then you have to remove yourself from this person's influence and not be so close to them anymore lest you fall into sin alongside them. Yes we all sin and we all fall short, but a person in a position of leadership is more accountable.
A ministry can be a church organisation or it can be a created organisation which a set of individuals has created out of their own volition with fellow Christians. It may sell books or provide intellectual debate on particular issues, it may be focused on a particular specialism. One does not have to be a pastor in a particular church to be in a position of authority within a ministry. Sometimes it is hard when the person in question took part in creating that ministry, or when there is no accountable leadership structure or method of reporting problems, (if there is no proper way to handle complaints and problems no process or group accountable only an individual that controls everything that is not a good sign it indicates people who do not want to be accountable or submit to anyone else) they may not wish to step down as it has become their possession now and its not really about God anymore, it's about their status and power. The impression it will create of them stepping aside for a while is one that fills them with fear. However we all know this is irrelevant, it's all meaningless and they are useless if they continue to live this way. Eventually it will be discovered and they will be exposed for the hypocrites they really are, it's better they stand down before that public humiliation occurs.
I have noticed that those who humiliate others and are quick to do so often have the most to hide and fear humiliation the most. It's an acknowledgement of fear and power. They think by putting down others and humiliating them, they can garner a sense of control and avoid their own downfall. However this doesn't work as they often forget it's not just one person who sees their sin, the whole world can at some point and you cannot control or intimidate the whole world eventually the truth will all come out as nothing can remain hidden forever.
Often they will try to get rid of you and get you as far away from them as possible as you know the wrong they are doing and are quickly becoming a problem to them as you are a threat now just through your very existence and presence. It is at this point you may have to consider this person is only interested in protecting themselves and is not even prepared to keep the commandment of the new testament to 'love thy neighbour as themselves' once this happens they will do everything to protect themselves even if it means hurting others more and more just to preserve themselves. This is when you have to accept the things you cannot change, when you have to leave them for God to deal with and discipline as we know if they can't hear you trying to speak and warn them, then you have to let them be and let them feel the consequences of their actions. IN the end there will be consequences, as you cannot be in a position of authority and abuse power for eternity, eventually it will come to light and you will get caught. It's actually better it comes to light sooner rather than later if we actually consider this for one second. The longer a leader actually gets away with it going unexposed, the worse usually the consequences of the discovery will be as they will become confident in not getting caught and abuse their position more and more, committing more and more sin, becoming complacent in their seeming freedom to do what they want. Until they commit acts which are so huge they may often lose everything.
At this point they cannot blame God for this as God sent people into your life to warn you but you refused to listen, your ears became deaf like the idol your ministry became more important than your relationship with him. He certainly didn't give you the grace to be acting as you were acting as if he did you wouldn't fall into the sins you fell into. You got carried away, you forgot about God, you forgot about why you were there.
Accepting Rebellion Some people will not repent, they even go on to do more acts and won't listen at all. There is totally nothing you can do about this, you have a duty to only do as instructed, confront them individually at first in private, in love, correcting in humility and love. Then you approach with a witness and approach other elders about their conduct. You are not responsible for them in God's sight in Philippians 2:12 we are told to 'work out your own salvation with fear and trembling' so ultimately once you have spoken to them, gone with a witness and alerted the elders or people responsible for their ministerial position you have done all you can and all you were instructed to do. You can continue to pray for them and continue to keep contact with them in a caring way. You shouldn't be very close to them lest you be drawn back into the sin yourself, but keep contact with the person and fellowship sometimes to let them know you care, keep them in prayer and if they return welcome them with open arms without judgement and condemnation. It can be difficult if you are hurt by this person, or it may be even more difficult if you yourself fell into sin with this person, however if you repent and they don't, this is a sign that you are ultimately taking responsibility for your actions and your sin and they are not and maybe won't. As much as you may be emotionally attached to them, want to help them and wish to protect them from the direction you can see they are going in. You may see bigger disaster ahead if they don't listen and be trying to protect them or even their ministry from that. You cannot force someone who won't listen or hear you. We are told at some point you have to let them get on with it and leave them to carry on with what they are doing. I know it's hard when you love someone and when you are close to someone you may even cry as you don't want to leave them to the road and the disastrous end destination you can ultimately predict if they carry on, but you have to. Eventually you have to accept they are on their own course and its not a good one and let them get on with it if they won't listen to reason and scriptural justifications.
Not Punishment But Time for Reflection & Putting House In Order
Sometimes the person you are asking to step down from ministry may try to make you feel guilty or say you are threatening them if you try to report this, however it is important that the person who is being asked to step down remembers. Noone wants to humiliate them like this, noone wants them to fall it's a very sad situation and very disappointing for the Christian doing the asking. You have betrayed them and let them down, they thought you were a leader, a mature Christian, an inspiration to others and then they find you are not even worthy to hold your place and your spiritual life is a mess. They are not revelling usually in this knowledge, they usually wish you will come to a place of repentance and stand down for a while quickly and quietly with minimal fuss. Its less embarrassing that way, noone who is really a Christian wants to embarrass and humiliate another believer regardless even if they were a victim of the sin.
Therefore to make this as painless as possible it is better the leader in sin acknowledges it, repents and apologises to those who were hurt and offended, those it affected, stand down from ministry affairs for a while and focus on their personal walk and spiritual life with the Lord. When your ministry becomes more important than your relationship with the Lord of the ministry, then in all honestly your ministry has become an idol and is no longer useful to the God it is confessing to serve and neither are you. It becomes motionless and meaningless like the stone it is ultimately becoming and your heart will follow it shortly.
If you need a sign that you have started to place this ministry above the God it is supposed to serve, just look at your relationships, how do you treat those people who care about you in your life. Do you have time for the people who care or are you so busy you don't bother to maintain these relationships and except everyone else to be giving to you and you are just taking. Are you responsible, if not there may be issues, are you transparent, usually people who are not open and transparent are protecting hidden areas of their life as they may not be behaving in the manner they should be. Are you treating people in a way that uplifts the Lord and glorifies him or in a hardened heart manner where you have lost all compassion for them. Other areas to look at may be sexual sin, if you are committing it or tempted to that would usually indicate you have real problems also, are you arrogant, are you impatient with people and rude to them, are you agitated with everyone or even just certain people?
Is your career and the ministry all you care about? Does it come first place above your family and those you love and who love you? If it does it won't work. God's priorities are always (God, family, ministry, career, anything else) if you get the order fundamentally wrong you are doing things in your own strength and it won't be blessed by the Lord. Don't worry you won't miss your calling when he raises you up, he gives you all you need to get there, its hard work maybe but you won't lose your wife or husband, children for neglect over it. If you are losing people you love and who love you in your life over your 'supposed calling and ministry' there is a problem and something wrong. Perhaps its your desire and not God's perhaps he is not really in the boat with you and showing you where to cast your nets as Yeshua showed the disciples.
Do not abandon your loved ones, wives, girlfriends, children etc and blame it on the ministry, this is really becoming a problem within the church. God is not there for your career development, the church should not be used in that way and neither should the name of God and God would never ever wish you neglect your family to further his ministry, give someone else a few responsibilities, share the work, we are not meant to grip it in an attempt to control everything and neglect those who love us in the process. This is becoming a real problem in many churches if you see below this link from the Orlando Statement when 50 Pentecostal and charismatic leaders met in 2004, I think this list could have been a bit longer and dealt a bit more with false doctrine and fake miracles but hey we live in an imperfect world :). If you scroll down to the bottom you will see an ethical accountability section http://www.cephas-library.com/assembly_of_god/assembly_of_god_orlando_statement.html
You can see clearly identified problems with accountability in leadership, abandonment of the family for ministry and neglect, sexual infidelity and fornication, financial accountability all issues being addressed. Whilst I don't agree in totality with the whole document and some points they have alluded to in that they claim the Charismatic/Pentecostal movement has contributed to a growth in conversions and I question if these are 'real conversions' as their doctrine is often a bit lacking and some charismatic/pentecostal churches preach another gospel altogether. I do appreciate what they are trying to do in this Ethical Accountability Section, they are trying to instill that the ministry is not more important than loved ones and not a reason to justify neglect, that purity in leadership is essential and that is a respectful stance to take. It also mentions we have to have peers that can 'confront moral failure' that 'behaviours adverse to the beliefs of the bible and its values be disciplined'. They refer several times to an 'ethical crisis' probably related to people in the church leadership following their American and other values and not abiding by the Christian values of the bible, they call these other values 'alien'.
Its better when the ministry is not an idol and the leader is not steeped up to their neck in sin, don't let the ministry become more important than the God you are supposed to be serving, than your relationship with your father, your wife, your mother, your girlfriend, your daughter, your son, your grandmother and with your loved ones. So much so that when you are doing it in your own strength your spiritual walk falls to pieces and you end up in sin. If you reach this place it's time to ask the Lord to create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you.
An Example A local church I used to visit years ago, started as a little ministry, it grew and grew and grew, there was a lot of hypocrisy and sin within it. It grew huge and eventually they bought a huge building and God was seemingly really blessing this church. I stopped attending even as a visitor as the doctrine started to get a bit off. Eventually however there was an investigation ten years later, some women in the congregation actually pressed charges against the pastor for sexual offences. Now breaking the law can happen in many forms, deception (he also got charged with that), deceiving people for monetary gain, or getting people to financially commit resources to something you have lied and deceived someone about, sexual harassment, other kinds of abuse. This pastor actually went to prison and at the time he committed these offences he probably didn't even realise he was actually breaking the law. The church fell to pieces, lost of people backslid, the local testimony was destroyed and his family suffered his wife and children absolutely destroyed by his actions. It grew huge and it all fell to pieces. The longer a leader stays in this kind of sin, I think the worse the consequences become.
Some people have said why do we have to speak to people if we see them in sin, why do we have to take a witness, why can't we just ignore it and let God work within their hearts. As we all know, there is guilt by association, would you stand and watch a murderer kill someone and do nothing, would you stand by and watch a man rape a woman. So why should we stand and watch as a man cheats on his wife, or he uses a woman's body for sex when he is supposed to be representing our Lord and Father on earth. Leaders are unfortunately putting themselves in a position of public scrutiny it is important they do not behave in a manner which brings the gospel into ill repute or in a manner that is in contradictory to it as we are supposed to be the salt of the earth. How can we win anyone's heart when we use, cheat and lie to people. We have to aim to have purity in our behaviour and yes noone is perfect but a mature Christian leader should not be cheating on his wife, sleeping with multiple partners or using women for sex, stealing money from ministry or defrauding others. We are called to serve the Lord and the people as believers, one of the biggest acts of service however is self-control and not abusing and using others, cheating on others, using people for sex, sleeping with multiple partners is not any exhibition of self control and if you haven't matured enough as a believer, to control yourself in this way then you are quite simply not ready for any kind of position of leadership within Christian ministry. Don't put yourself up there if you haven't got the grace to deliver the ministry as God doesn't need you to do that, he has many other sheep that can control themselves who are mature in their walk that will hold that position he is not dependent on you for anything. God doesn't need us and he definitely doesn't need us to be in public ministry when our spiritual lives are a mess. He needs us to be right with him before we even think about standing up in public and trying to serve anyone else in any way.
However we cannot ignore sin as you look at 1 Corinthians 5: 6-13 Paul stopped clearly tells us not to have anything to do anything to with sexual immorality and sin. Clearly here he tells us we can judge the church based on the word of God and that we should do this. In 1 Corinthians we are told that we cannot ignore sin that if we do it will corrupt everything. Now we can't be perfect but sexual immorality, worship of idols, abuse, greed, stealing are clearly named here as sins that should not be tolerated and allowed. We are also told to tell each other when we fall into sin to help the individual turn from the sin and that this is an act of love and should be done in love. Galatians 6:1-2.
Some people think that once a person has acted in such a way they should no longer be in a position to lead any ministry at all, however as loving Christians its good to give people a chance to reprove themselves after a few years, however if you feel the person has truly repented a year can often suffice. If you love and are close to the person in question you may wish to take the more lenient approach and not expose them publicly and only advise they step down for a year or so, however it is essential you continue to pray for them, continue to support them in their walk, encourage them to do things the right way and that you are there for them, as they will feel as if they have failed sometimes and may despair. They may also at some point be overcome with guilt and regret, wish to put things right with those they have wronged and feel a deep compassion, this will be as a result of God working within their heart and convicting them of their transgressions. It can be quite a lowly time so its important to keep in fellowship and support people through it. Being asked to step down from a position of leadership doesn't mean the person is not still loved and cared for, they definitely are and we must all forgive them as we have all sinned and fallen short. We should never ever forget this and pray and support our brother/sister through this difficult time. I just pray that if this relates to anyone's situation right now, you put down the idol for a while, sort out your relationship with God first and foremost, you go to those you have offended, apologise, put things right, repent and sort out your problem that is causing you to find yourself in this place, are you single in need of a wife, find a wife, stop falling down on fornication and lust. If you are married and have cheated, refrain from being alone with women that are not your wife, get back to spending time with your wife, your children, make them your first priority, love them again from the depths of your being, pray together, worship together. If you are stealing from the ministry, walk away repent, don't work in ministry for a year have a break. Your spiritual health is very important if you are not spiritually healthy you cannot minister effectively to others and will ultimately end up causing more damage to yourself in the longer term. Sometimes we have to take a step backwards to move forwards. See it as an opportunity to grow in your walk and your love for God our father. Don't be scared to put it down, don't fear losing control and losing possession, if this is so important then its already an idol as its not about glorifying God anymore but its become about glorifying you. I pray we all make the correct choices and God helps us to honour him with our spirit, minds and bodies. In Yeshua not idols may we trust. Amen
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